I may spend an entire life asking you - why you died? But the world will call me mad, a certified eccentric. Well, I do know all the answers that science has to offer. The Darwin's theory announcing "The Fittest will Survive." Various other theories, logical replies, well thought considerations are also on the list. So, the question is what we are here for? Is it just this mere battle of survival? Living each day and walking towards the next? This is absolutely we do, don't we? Get up every morning, fight a useless battle for hundreds of things-- food, water, living space, getting hold of hundreds of ways to have a never ending supply of all these and lot more. For some, these are just the basic requirements and they don't even think twice about any of these. They get it, have it, use it, forget it. And for some others, getting these is a lifelong battle in itself. Yet the both groups continue going on. The first group is having it all, never bothered about how they ever started to have it and look for something that is far more important for them. Their list of important things can be anything like how their business is doing, what they should do to make it grow more and do still better, what are their plans for weekends, how they'll enjoy their time with their families, what are the politically significant things happening in their country, how they'll do something interesting to kill the boredom some boring Sunday evening and so many more things. The second group has its own set of important things. They keep thinking about how they'll continue getting their supplies for food, water,living space, and so on. But the finality of all the battles is the same. Living today and dying some day up on the line. Isn't it like filling the gap between being born and being dead? As if some elementary school art teacher has given us a large picture to paint. It has the outlines but no colors inside. Our task is to sit and fill the colors till it is all done. Some of us will fill vibrant colors, others will go with dull and boring ones. Some will have just a few colors to use while others will make is like rainbow. But the thing is just the same -- filling it up till it is all done. Living -- fighting an uncertain battle to reaching the inevitable -- the death.
Then, why at all getting into this battle? Why at all filling the colors? What really is wrong about tearing up the page with that useless picture to paint? So, you're gone, huh? But you left something behind, do you know, or you don't? You've left a dirty streak of lonesome stupor filling up my heart, mind, senses. Here, my mind now has two parts. One is living in the present. It is the part that just doesn't think of anything at all. It has nothing to do with your life. It just doesn't care if you ever were alive. If you ever were somebody. It just doesn't know Who the Hell you are -- Who the Hell you were. It is like a story that nobody ever read, nobody will ever know if it existed. And yes, I'm living it. I'm not me while I live this being. I smell it, I feel it, I sense it, I know it. That being is nobody. Just a log -- it is living for no good reason. On the same old everyday battle -- the battle of survival and doesn't know when will it ever come to an end. The other one is not yet dead, not in any stupor. It knows everything. It thinks. It lives. It understands. It uses logical reasoning to reason things. But this part is sad -- tremendously sad, deterrently sad. It keeps asking like a kid -- why did you die? Why everyone has to die? It tries to live, tries to face that everyday battle yet has one question to ask -- why? Why to live, if at the end we got to die? Why to meet, if in the end we depart? Why to have, if we got to give it all away? Why doing anything at all, if everything that we do ends up actually nowhere?
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